A Chris-in-the-morning inspired blog. Somewhere I can hypothesis on human nature and narrate my own journey of self discovery. That sounds so cheesy! Basically somewhere that I can just spill out the contents of my head.

 
So I'm still obsessing over Matt every chance I get. I've been playing (almost exclusively) music that he likes or music that reminds me of first year. I've also been doing that thing where songs you listen to seem to ring true. To actually say what you are feeling. For me right now these two sums me up.

Taken - Stellar*

speak of chemistry
the mix is volatile you see
so don't lose your nerve
don't throw away what you deserve
you should know one thing
time will change nothing

i'm already taken
i've been taken by your ways
i'm already taken
and by the things you do
there's no mistaking the way that i feel
i'm already taken

talk to my machine
and say exactly what you mean
cos i will listen close
to every breath and every word
you could spell it out
though you should know by now

//chorus//

i should make it clear
but its easier to torture
there are no victims here
you don't need to doubt
you should know by now


And loathe as I am to admit it

World of our own

You make me feel funny
When you come around
Yeah that's what I found out honey
What am I doing without you
You make me feel happy
When I leave you behind
It plays on my mind now honey
What am I doing without you

Took for granted everything we had
As if I'd find someone
Who's just like you

We got a little world of our own
I'll tell you things that no one else knows
I let you in where no-one else goes
What am I doing without you
And all of the things I've been looking for
Have always been here outside of my door
And all of the time I'm looking for something new
What am I doing without you

Well I guess I'm ready
For settling down
And fooling around is over
And I swear that it's true
No buts or maybes
When I'm falling down
There's always someone who saves me
And girl it's you

Funny how life can be so surprising
I'm just realising what you do

We got a little world of our own
I'll tell you things that no one else knows
I let you in where no-one else goes
What am I doing without you
And all of the things I've been looking for
Have always been here outside of my door
And all of the time I'm looking for something new
What am I doing without you

Well it's feeling right now
So let's do it right now
Praying that some how
You will understand the way
It's feeling right now baby somehow
I won't let this slip away

We got a little world of our own
I'll tell you things that no one else knows
I let you in where no-one else goes
What am I doing without you
And all of the things I've been looking for
Have always been here outside of my door
And all of the time I'm looking for something new
What am I doing without you

Really he is all I've been looking for, right outside my door. And stupid me was too shy and afraid to admit it.
I make a point of trying not to regret things. But one thing I do regret is not telling Matt how I felt in 1st year. I guess there is still a chance that I will get to tell him. Provided he doesn't get a girlfriend in Rotorua. If worst comes to worst and I'm about to leave the country I'll tell him just before I go. I almost told him just before we moved out of the flat last year. But the time or place was never right.
I'm already taken. probably why i'm never really interested in any other guy.
posted by Megan at 8:09 PM