A Chris-in-the-morning inspired blog. Somewhere I can hypothesis on human nature and narrate my own journey of self discovery. That sounds so cheesy! Basically somewhere that I can just spill out the contents of my head.

 
Boy, when it kicks off does it kick off. Craig's leaving tomorrow for over a month. I'm taking samples on monday. Have to go by bus to Whakatane on sunday and go with the EBOP guy from there. Got to organise all the stuff for taking samples. Got to order filters too. Musn't forget. Got to organise finding a new flatmate, and the barbeque this weekend. Eeep.

posted by Megan at 1:57 AM

 
I'm back onto a LOTR kick again. Boy does it feel good. I'm going to try to savour it, make it last as long as I can. It's been so hard recently to find anything that makes me feel genuinely happy. Evrytime I do it ends. Like Tora. If I had the time to get to know him it'd be wondeful, and Taiko. But it's finished for the summer. Although Athena said she'd try and orgainse a few get togethers. Random practices so we don't forget everything. I really hope so.
I watched The Two Towers this weekend, that's what started the kick. I'd been meaning to watch it for a while. Ever since they showed Fellowship on TV2. I'm thinking about going to the video store sometime and hiring the TTT EE, if one of them has it. Especially with ROTK EE coming out soon. I've been listening to LOTR music all day and I'm trying to restrain myself from reading the book again. I'm trying to remember whether or not I last read it last summer or later this year. And whether I only read ROTK or all 3. Summer is my time for reading LOTR anyway, so I'll have to at some point.
Oh my I just realised, I have a tradition.Oh! Click! I remember when I last read it. When I went to the parade! Duh! Of course. I don't think I've read it since then. I know I read the Hobbit. But that was to satisfy my midyear LOTR cravings without ruining my tradition. ^_^

posted by Megan at 2:16 AM

 
I told myself I was going to write a post about the perfect guy. At least he's a close to perfect as I've met yet. Yes Matt lost that position the moment he became an arse.
This guy. Mmmmmmmmmmm. I'd better not name him in case he finds this page. He's got a fairly individual name, being Chilean and Japanese of origin. I'm actually in quite a good position at the moment. I can fully enjoy the overwhelming sexiness of him without worry of getting involved and being shot down or something. He's going back to Chile in a couple of weeks. Which is a damn shame because I'd like to admire him for quite a while longer.
He's got a sort of south American cowboy look about him. With the shoulder length bleck hair, and the moustache and the little stripe of facial hair from his lip down to his chin. Not usually one for facial hair this really does it for me. And he's got lovely skin. Both the Chileana nd Japanese heritage shows through in his skin colour. It's olive kind of couloured and his hands! They're incredible, especially when he's playing guitar. So flexible and they've got that look about them that suggests strength, but they can still be gentle. Mmm. And his smile. When it's directed at you, you'd swear you were the only person on earth. And lovely eyes. He always looks at you when he's talking to you (even when he's driving) and the feeling of having those eyes on you.

posted by Megan at 5:24 PM

 
Stupid me! Stupid Matt! I was so hung up with the whole Matt thing that I didn't go see Cloud and now he's gone back to China. He said he was in a hurry to go because he had some job interviews his parents had arranged. He tried to contact me but... He might be coming back sometime. He might come back for his graduation but stuff all help that will be 'cause I'll be in America then most likely.
I miss him. Not like that. I just really miss having him around. Knowing he was there if I wanted to get away from everyone else. Somewhere I could go to feel better. He always had that ability, to make me feel better no matter how awful I felt. I wish I could have hugged him good bye.
I'm going to swear right now that even if I have to go to China myself I'm going to see him. Within the next 5 years if possible. Even though we haven't really seen each other much this year it was still more of a comfort than he'll know just to have him around. Things feel different now.
Wo ai ni Cloud

posted by Megan at 1:44 AM

 
He's just not that into me?
Hmmm? So I saw a 20/20 mini article on a new book out. Based on the episode of Sex and the City where Burger demystifies men for Miranda. 'He's just not that into you.' According to the book, if he doesn't call, is not having sex with you or 'disappears', then he's just not that into you. Well Matt's done all three really. For an hour or so I felt liberated by this knowledge, then depressed and now, well pretty much the same as before.
Matt's not some guy from New York, and this is not some dating misunderstanding. Matt's different, he's Kiwi for a start and shy and nice and well not Burger anyway. And three years worth of stuff between us. And besides he said to my face that he was into me. So what does this mean? It means that Matt has no excuse that is not going to justify me cutting his balls off. He's run out of excuses and very nearly run out of time.
I hit the limit yesterday. Or at least the little warning sticker that says 'Only 2 metres left'. I've been telling people that I have limits and I'll know when I reach them, well here they are, looming over me. This is the point where I give him one last chance to redeem himself. I'm going to send him an email within the next few days. I've got to let myself be calmed down a bit before I write it. Not sure what I'm going to say yet. What I want to say is something to the effect of, 'Are you my boyfriend or can I start flrting eith the hot Chilean guy?'. But I won't say that. a) because it would not provoke any forseeable positive response and b) because I'm not going to flirt with Tora he's leaving in a couple of weeks.

posted by Megan at 2:15 AM

 
Okay, so I told myself I was going to write a good long post about yesterday. So here it is. So I got up at 6. Well ten past really. Got to the uni around 7:20, Tora turned up with the van and I met him. Helped him get the stuff from the R block lab, all the while admiring the wonderful human form and trying not to grin too much. Then we headed off to Rotorua. Just me and him in the truck. Some good conversation. Found out that his Dad is Japanese. Can this guy get any better?!? He's not a biologist he did civil engineering at the University of Chile. And unfortunately he's going back to Chile in a couple of weeks. Sigh.Damn, if he didn't look hot hauling on a rope or setting the gear up.Oh well nothing's going to happen, I'll just enjoy the company and view while it's still here.

posted by Megan at 8:15 PM

 
Well if Matt's going to make a move he'd better do it tonight. Why? Because tomorrow I'm spending the whole day with a hot Latin American guy. ANd I didn't just meet him, I've had a bit of a thing for him for a while. Saw him during the Andean club performance on international day and man is he fine. And even better, he wears glasses. And that smile! Mmm mm mm

posted by Megan at 11:52 PM

 
I'm coming to terms with the fact that all that's left for me to do is keep the lines of communication open and play the waiting game. Again.
I sent him an email fo his birthday. I was going to make an animation but I forgot. Oh well. I'm sure I can come up with an excuse by this weekend.
It's weird, I think I've learnt something from a book. Okay so this is nothing new. I try to take something away from most books I read. But this book was a Feist. One I read solely for escapism. The King's Buccaneer. The lesson I picked up is the same one Nicholas learnt. About taking responsibility. No excuses and all. I went to uni today all fired up to do work. And I realised that I've got to do this, for myself. There's noone to blame if the work doesn't get done. It's up to me. And I felt good too.
Thanks Nicky.

posted by Megan at 2:20 AM