A Chris-in-the-morning inspired blog. Somewhere I can hypothesis on human nature and narrate my own journey of self discovery. That sounds so cheesy! Basically somewhere that I can just spill out the contents of my head.

 
I'm in one of my weird moods. Quite reminiscent right now. My horoscope said I would be today. It's been a weird day. Many good looking/nice guys. Two cute pizza boys, Jonathan and Tom. I'm finding myself warming to Jonathan. At first there was something about him that annoyed me. It still kind of annoys me that he talks with that slightly whinny kind of childish voice. Petulant it might be called. But he's very smart and appears to be acting more friendly towards me. ANd not just when Farina and/or Lisa is around. I went up looking for them around lunch today and they weren't there but Jonathan was and we had a bit of a chat with Nikky the other woman in their lab. And Tom's just hot. He said Hi when I passed him in Bongo too. I'm not reading anything into it. And then there was sweetness on Regency House Party tonight. I hope they make another season of this show. It's really very good.
I'm currently listening to my 'We Three' playlist, which is composed of songs from when it was me Matt and Mark. As for the Matt thing I think I may have metioned in my last post, that or either I had a conversation with myself about it. Anyway, I feel only occaisionaly a small twinge at some reminder, I seem to have reclaimed the Feelers for my own. But whenever I look in the direction of Te Aroha when I'm travelling home on the bus my heart strings twinge. Of course they also twinge when I think that the Shire was filmed there and that Dom and Billy might have seen the same vistas as my own eyes perceive. But the Matt twinge is one I think will always be with me. And to speak truthfully I wouldn't want to lose it. Although our actual relationship was exceeding short lived, my feelings for him stemmed from happy times together and the felicity of those times will not be lessened by events that have since occured.
Although for all that I'm getting over Matt I _still_ can't allow myself to give him up completely. My heart is still holding onto a handful of what ifs. What if when he comes to uni, he sees you and wants you again. What if it's like Joan and Adam they kissed and it turned to custard but then they got it right.
Well I'm very tired now and I have the confrontation with Saruman and the reunion with the hobbits to read. Ah how dearly do I love Merry.
Night
posted by Megan at 1:41 AM