A Chris-in-the-morning inspired blog. Somewhere I can hypothesis on human nature and narrate my own journey of self discovery. That sounds so cheesy! Basically somewhere that I can just spill out the contents of my head.

 
Woah! I'm well tipsy at the moment! Another $100 bar tab drunk and we didn't w98in this wek. eobably best. They might not lt us bvack if we won 3 weeks in a row.
And it'd good to build up my alcohoiol tolerance before i go to the staes. My typing is awful and this is after me correcting mistakes. I'm laughhing so hard right noew
I'm goingt to miss people so much.. Tilly and Julie and even Julien. I know that nothing official has happened betwen us.It's basically been conversations between Rpchelle and David but I REALLY like him. Which I don't get. I've never liked a guy this much without really knowing him before. Apparently David says he thiks Julien will wait for me. I REALLY hope he does. I really like him. I've never felt like this abouita guy before.
I'm falling sideways off my chair.
I'm surprise dI can even tupe legibley. Is that even a word. I'm very tipsy. I onl;y had 2 1/2 glasses of wine and one and a half handles of beer.
I'm listening to Dido, Life for Rent, which Julien gave me. I hope he wais for me. Is 2 1/2 months too long for a frenchman to turn down other offers? I',m going to get his emailfrom David tmorrow.
How long has it been since a guy I like, likes me back?
I really can't type so well. 've never written a dary entry drnk before. I'm kipping vowels.
Oops and consonants.
What is wrong with me! Alcohl that's what. I don't wammnt to go. I want to saty and see how things go with JUlien. When I'm not thinking about important stuff I'm thinking about him. He's my nes limerent objet. But I thinkit' more than thsat. He's not just a limerent opbject. I clicked with him. I really did .
I'm going to publish this post now before my pelli g ets NY WORSE. dOMINIC mONAGHAN IS hoT. Oops I hit the caps lock.
posted by Megan at 3:04 AM

 
*sigh*
As usual my blog entries turn to matters of the heart.
I realise now that my passing fancies for Tom, Christophe and even thoughts on David were just that passing fancies. I've been so desperate recently that anything that's male and seems half decent (or maybe a quarter in the case of David) seems to warrant my consideration.
But I have come to realise how foolish I was now that I have met someone genuinely worthy. Well you know what I mean.
Actually I met him first a couple of months ago. We have only met so far in large group situations and have never eally had a chance to chat. I thought he was good looking and seemed nice enough. A little quiet and reserved, but that's usually how I like my guys. Anyway, last saturday we had drinks at our flat here and then went into town. I got to chat with him a little in a group before we went into town. And I'm not sure if I was seeing what I wanted to see or not, but I think there may have been some looks passed between us in the club. When the party came back to ours that morning we got the chance to chat more. There being only a few of us and eventually on 3 of us chatting until 6 in the morning. At some point around 3 I think, something just clicked. Now I know it's a big ol' cliche the whole 'we just clicked' thing. But I swear I just about heard the sound. At one point he wanted to look at my CDs. So I let him but warned him that they weren't a very good selection. So what does he do? Stands there saying 'This one is good. And this artist is pretty good. I have this album' etc etc and so on and so forth. The he was saying that he could give me some CDs because he's got heaps of music. I thought that was really nice and I was flattered that he was paying attention to me.
The next day(or later that day, really) I found I was thinking about him an awful lot. And I was getting a little fluttery too. I haven't felt like that since Cloud. But I also thought 'Yeah right at 4 in the morning he says he'll give me some CDs. Whatever. He'll forget.'
Monday I come back from home, go into the lab and there's a package for me on my desk. Yep CDs. If I'd felt fluttery before I had a cyclone in my stomach now. There was also a note from him, wishing me good fun on my trip, enjoy the music and bring back some sunshine. I thought this was nice but was too afraid to read any further into it. I'm terrible at picking up signs as evidenced by my thing with Matt.
However I showed Rochelle and she pointed out that he'd written the note on the inside of the paper used to wrap the CDs. This suggested it was kind of a private message and that he must like me. I didn't let myself get too worked up over this nuance. Then when I showed Tilly she came to the same conclusion as Rochelle as did Julie. So I got hopeful.
I then charged Rochelle with the task of finding out from David, while I'm away whether or not Julien has a girlfriend. Rochelle came back from Hockey practice last night and knocked on my door.
'He doesn't have a girlfriend.' She says. She'd gone up to the labs after hockey to do some readings and David was there. So she walks up to him and says
'Does Julien have a girlfriend?'
David replies,
'No but he's looking for one. Does Megan have a boyfriend?'
Rochelles response was hmmmm. Somethings going on.
Basically David was impressed with the fact the Julien gave me 12 CDs and figured he must like me. After all he knows his friend. So I was so excited last night it took me quite a while to get to sleep.
This afternoon in the lab David walks past and says to me
'Twelve CDs eh?' Gives me a suggestive look and carries on.
Then this evening we were in the tea room and he does it again. Then Rochelle tells me that he was saying a lot of nice things about me. And that apparently he went and told Julien about the 'Does Julien have a girlfriend' conversation with Rochelle just like she told me when she got back that night. Rochelle also said something to the effect that David thinks Julien would wait for me to get back.
I'm am so buzzing!!
I'm at that wonderful stage where all I can feel is happy when I think of him. Everything I hear about him is good. All about him is wonderful. I hope I get to go through this (and more) when I get back.
I just can't quite believe that someone I like, likes me back! That hasn't happened in such a long time. I almost don't want to go. I almost just want to stay to see how it plays out.
But I suppose this way I get the best of both worlds. I get the trip and hopefully when I get back the guy. Please let me get the guy. Let me get this guy. Please God, I like him so much.
posted by Megan at 3:08 AM

 
May 08, 2005

It's human nature to dream, and to at least try to make those dreams come true here on planet number three. Your chance to turn one of your dreams into a goal, and to tackle that goal with your usual meticulous attention, has now officially arrived -- and if you're dealing with the department of long-distance travel, higher education or spiritual quests, you'll have all the heavenly help you could ever ask for to get the show on the road. Go for it

My extended daily horoscope for today. yay!!
posted by Megan at 7:54 PM

 
So this weekend went pretty well for the most part. It's sunday afternoon and I'm dead tired. Got home from town at 3 on saturday morning. Got home from raglan at 2 this morning. AND there's the Spanish F1 tonight. Thank goodness it's starts at 11 and not 1 or 2 in the morning.
Anyway I was a bit upset yesterday still over the whole 'only romantic prospects going out the window' thing. But I've got over that. A t some point yesterday afternoon while sitting on Raglan beach it just sort of happened. There'll be other guys, better guys. And until then I've got my friends. And I've always gotmy plans for America. Although knowing my luck the only single guys will either be gay or patriotic americans. And my principles will (most likely) not let me have a relationship with anyone who is hugely Americanly patriotic. Although it depends on the guy of course. It was George's birthday 2 days ago. I sent him an ecard and he's seen it but I haven't heard back yet and I'm feeling a liuttle neglected. It's probably nothing. His parents have their 40th wedding anniversary on his birthday so he's probably been hugely busy with doing that and hanging out with family.
When Rochelle and I were sitting on the beach yesterday somehow we got to talking about guys. And of course James and Matt both came up. I know now that I am completely over him. It's quite refreshing but also a bit of a let down. I do miss his friendship. But I still want to know what went wrong. Not so much as I did before though. Maybe in a couple of weeks I just won't care why it didn't all happen. I think I'll do a 'how is everyone?, this is what I'm up to' update email soon. Just before I go. Maybe he'll reply.
That's all I can think of to ramble about. My samples should be finished boiling in a couple of minutes anyway I should get back.
Have a good week. ^_^
posted by Megan at 7:43 PM

 
Well the Chritophe saga is ended before I can even finish chronicling it. Oh well. I think it's better that it's over. I think.
So last night we our dinner, me and Rochelle. I was getting along quite well with both Tom and Christophe. (Better than expected with Tom). So of course being me I thought, 'Oh romantic oppurtunities here'.
In the end it turns out not so. Tom has some problems and drank quite a lot when we in town later. Something to do with an ex I think. I think the drinking might be a kind of regular thing. The real clincher was just how much he reminded me of Dad when he's drunk. So scratch Tom.
Christophe is in love with someone else, someone who apparently doesn't want him. So I can feel for him. I'm just not quite sure yet whether or not the girl he's fallen for is his flatmate Kezia. Who is very good looking, smart and lovely (and German), and who Christophe couldn't take his eyes off all night. But then neither could Alexei and Dan.
I have to admit that if I leaned that way Kezia might just be my type. Something about her is very appealing in a good way. Not just good looking, good natured and smart too. So I can't blame him I guess.
I just feel a little depressed today because all my potential romantic options were blown out of the water.
There is always jeremy, but I haven't seen hi in ages and I don't feel all upset and missing him etc. So I'm not sure there's anything there on my part.
Well I was feeling all upset at always being upstaged by other girls until Tom and Christophe just came into the lab a couple of minutes ago. I was chatting away etc. So I guess I wasn't really THAT set on either of them. At least I've got a couple of friends now. Possible connections to new nice guys. ^_^
Anyway time to leave the labs. off to Raglan later. With Christophe. Irony huh. Meeting up with David there. It'll be nice to be near the beach for a bit. Just got to try not to spend all my money now.
Skrig skrig You've got red on you.
posted by Megan at 5:17 PM

 
So... the Christophe saga. Things began to develop for me when I had a dream about him. Nothing dodgy, you can eb assured. I'm not sure I even remember it properly anymore. But basically I think he was my boyfriend in the dream. No wait. Now I remember. I was not last tuesday night but the one before the 19th April. In my dream I was in a barn (American type), there was straw on the floor and it was supposed to be some sort of pub type place. There were a whole bunch of celebrities doing a photo thing as well. A lot of the celebrities were native American. I saw the guy who played Billy Six-killer on Renegade there. Not sure if Eric Schweig was there though. #sigh#. I think I was there for a special function. Then I was sitting at a bar that ran across the middle of the room, between the crowd and the celebrities. And Christophe sat to my right. The he put his right hand on my right hand which was holding a stein of beer. He was rubbing my hand with his thiumb, in a sort of comforting nice way. And he was sitting very close. I was very nervous. I could feel him right next to me and I knew he wanted me to face him so he could kiss me. But I was so nervous that I couldn't gather up the courage, even though I wanted to. Of course I had nervous flutterings everytime I saw Christophe the next day.
Then I woke up. Anyway then on Wednesday Rochelle convinced me to go to a pub quiz that Tom had invited her to. So I went as well. Thought it might be fun. A couple of rounds into the quiz guess who turns up?
Yep, and guess who he sits next to? Yep on my right. And closely because we had about 10 people around a small table. And he kept leaning over to see what answers we had written down for each question. It's not often my dreams come true and damn me if I didn't take it for a sign. So then I began thinking whether or not Rochelle view of Christophe had been biasing my own opinion of him. And I think it was.
Chapter 3 to follow. In which I talk about Tesha's comments and the next wednesday.
posted by Megan at 1:52 AM

 
As ever I turns to my blog to be that ever trustworthy friend you whisper the name of you current crush to. It seems that the only time I ever remember to update my blog is when I have a romantically themed post to enter.
For a start I decide to find out today, just when George and I started emailing each other. 26th April. Okay so I missed our anniversay. Does that make me a guy? I emailed him tonight anyway. I also told him how weird it is to think of that person, who a year ago called out for some support, someone to listen. How different I am from me then. But I'm not that different. I guess I've just learned that it's not the end of the world if you get burned. And thanks to the support of people like Julie, Tilly, Asha, Erin and of course George, who understood what I was going through, I've come through it. Now I play social sports I go to dinners hosted by people I've only ever said 'Hi' to in the lab (and I learned that they're quite happy to get to know me.), with a flatmate who only moved in a week and a half before. I jouined Taiko and made friends with new people. I'm still geeky, cautious Me, but I've realised maybe I can put my caution away sometimes and things will still turn out alright.
Anyway, romantic theme... Yes there is a new guy I like. Maybe not so new. Here be the story.
So of course when I entered the TRU lab I immediatly surveyed the guys and evaluated each one. Tom: Good looking, nice, good reports from Farina, Lisa and others. David: Very good looking, very into Reggae (which I am not), smokes marajuana (which I don't). Charlie: Good loking, got the asian think going, smart but quite aloof at times. Christophe: Quiet, Pretty good looking, also into Reggae like David maybe not so much, quite charming.
Some of this information was gained at aforementioned dinner which Christophe hosted and Rochelle talked me into going to after she'd been in the lab a week. The reggae stuff for instance and how charming Christophe could be. At the time I thought maybe he liked me a little but was also just friendly. Late I realised he was like that with everyone and he was just beeing a very good host.
In order to cut the story shorter, I will leave out the usual misleading tangential storylines I so like, that usually finish with the twist that would expose the guy I really like, as the one I have lead the audience to believe least likely.
Charlie: Has a girlfriend, turned out to be nice guy but I wouldn't want to date him. Tom: Rochele asked him to a movie. They went, she said she liked him, he said he's not over Ex yet. She said yeah me neither. So he's off the radar (which strangly enough relived me. Maybe I wasn't really interested in him but just felt obliged to be because he scored highest on my criteria. David: Plays flirting games with all the women in the lab, nothing there I don't think I'd want to date him anyway. Not my type of guy. Christophe: Being that I have eliminated all the other guys it falls to Christophe to be my chosen crush.
Okay so he didn't_just_ get the position by default. He really did charm me (intentionally or not) at his dinner. Rochelle thinks he really sleazy. He does have an odd relationship with Amy. A kind of flirty relationship. But I think it's just a friendly thing. Amy is very friendly.
But I have to go now to watch Eastenders. I will try to make sure I come back and tell about the recent developments in the Christophe saga. The dream, the quiz, the looks etc.
posted by Megan at 3:17 AM